I've always used writing as a coping mechanism. It's how I process. It's how I get it all out. So bear with me as I process out loud here.
My grandma Helen was always so full of life. She was graceful and classy. She smelled comforting and sweet, and she always made me feel special. She was also one tough lady. She went through a lot of hurt and loss in her lifetime, yet it never broke her. After being told she couldn't have children, her and her then husband chose to adopt my dad as a baby. They then went on to adopt another baby (my dad's adoptive sister). Years later he died from lung cancer, but that didn't stop her from finding love again. She found her current husband (my grandpa Ian) and for 30 years they were inseparable. Even after her Parkinson's diagnosis, you couldn't hold her down. She was unstoppable.
I remember flying to England to visit her, and every time she had no problem keeping up with us. On all the castle walks, botanical garden adventures, country hopping, and road trips. There was always an adventure anywhere we went.
She had the MOST beautiful gardens. She could make beauty sprout from a patch of dirt. When I was little, it was like walking through a mystical fairy garden and it was so magical.
There was something so relaxing and inviting about her homes. Never stuffy or stiff. But lived in and welcoming. It was a place to relax and recharge. I'll never forget the dinners out on the patios, surrounded by her gardens. It was like something out of a movie.
And of course I can't forget being introduced to Pimm's (which by the way, I've yet to find a recipe to rival the one from her house). She was there when I married my best friend and when I picked out my dream wedding dress. She was always so proud and supportive of me.
Even though we lived a world away from each other most of my life, I'll never forget all the time I spent with her. The hikes from her Malibu home, running wild through the land, and splashing in the beige mud.
She introduced me to another world, different from my own. For that I'm grateful. I got to experience different cultures because of her, and she shaped me and my life in more ways than she'll ever know.
When I got the call today from my mom, telling me that she had passed on this morning, it almost didn't feel real. She lived a full and vibrant 89 years, yet I felt like she was going to live forever. So to hear that she had left this world was shocking. I still can't believe she's gone. I'm grateful to have known her and to have been able to call her my grandma. I'd sad I never got to say goodbye. The last time I saw her was in 2018 when she met Cooper as a baby. She never got to meet or hold Ellie. It's not going to be the same with her gone. Rest easy grandma. I love you. I miss you already.
